A Lamp Unto My Feet

(Unedited personal journal entry, originally written in 2017)

This is one of the devotionals I read out of Elisabeth Elliot's book “A Lamp Unto My Feet”:

“Someone asked last week, ‘When Jim died was your walk with the Lord close enough that His love and comfort and presence were sufficient at all times - or did grief and sorrow at times overtake and overwhelm you?’  My answer is yes to both questions. It is not an either/or matter.

The psalmist, overwhelmed, prayed,’Lead me to the rock that is higher than I’ (Ps.61:2 KJV)

Paul, plagued by a thorn, besought the Lord three times to remove it. (See 2 Cor.12:7-8).

Jesus, ‘horror-stricken and desperately depressed’ (Mark 14:34), prayed ‘O My Father - if it be possible...’(see v.36)

Of none of these - the psalmist, the apostle, the Lord-could it be said that his walk with God was not close enough. There was human suffering and divine sufficiency, This is the story of our life. The promise is My grace is sufficient’ (2 Cor.12:9 KJV, emphasis added), not ‘My grace will abolish your thorns.’”

You know, it's interesting to me that this devotional caught my attention yesterday. It interested me because I chased that understanding for years during my wilderness period. The understanding of how to have joy in all circumstances as well as facing the reality that every time you falter under the weight of what you are going through or how overwhelmed and powerless you can feel - that none of that means your faith is weak or somehow insufficient. Yes, doubt is unbelief but to somehow expect you don’t have to keep throwing yourself at the feet of Christ?! Christ wants you dependent on Him, not on your own abilities! Continually giving Him the burdens you are feeling IS what He wants!

We simply want to be released from that burden and weight and misery we are experiencing! He allows us to experience more than we can bear and to have dreams and visions bigger than we can dream or envision, let alone believe is attainable! People always get that wrong! It's temptations that He doesn’t give us more than we can bear.

My people die for lack of understanding...